This sermon was given at Stevens Chapel on September 22, 2002, by Rev. Dr. Judith Campbell.

Knowing that we will die...How then shall we live

This folks, is the "great" question. The one people have been asking ever since we had speech. Variations are: What is the meaning of life? What are we here for? Mary Oliver asks, What can I do with my one wild and wonderful life, ....Who are we, what are we and where are we going?, Paul Gaugin asked visually in one of his great Tahitian paintings and we are still asking. It is the basis of all religious dialogue, from the dogmatic " do it my/this way or else you'll go to hell and roast"...or the ultra liberal directive to live only in the moment...the ultimate "whatever"! And make the best of it for yourself and never mind anyone else.

This sermon is based on a recent book by Wayne Muller in his book entitled, "How Then Shall We Live.

I am often wary of "self Help" or pop-psychology books, because I think they often offer easy or "pat" answers to really serious questions, and many do little more that enrich the lives of the authors rather than the readers. On the other hand, Some of them are really valuable, and open the door to serious thinking and inquiry on the part of the individuals

reading them. So when, a Ferry beach friend, Darrell Cook, said he was going to send me this WONDERFUL book....I sort of hoped he'd forget. Well, he didn't...and I felt compelled to at least open it and flip through it so I could be honest when I said I had looked at it, and found it..."interesting"!

But when I opened the book...I kept it open and read every word. His ideas are not new. In fact, I usually address one or more of them in most of my sermons. There are very few REALLY new ideas. But the way he addresses and delineates life's age old questions is what made me keep on reading. What he says he says powerfully and beautifully without moving into the "OH-WOW" school of ethics and theology that I really find to be over

simplified and often offensive. What he does is to remind us of what we already know about the business of getting on with our lives...and too often forget. And once reminded, he offers us ways to think about how we live the life we are given that are, in the face of the fact that we will all one day pass away from this life as we know it, joyful, hopeful and

uplifting.

Muller suggests that the four great questions all humans face are these:

"Who Am I? What is My true nature and how do I find it?"

"What do I love? What we love will shape our days and provide the texture for our inner and outer lives."

How shall I live, knowing that I will die? How can we live less by accident and live instead with clarity and Purpose.?"

What is my gift to the family of the Earth? How do we find our true gift...and the confidence to offer that gift freely and happily?"

I would like to address each of these questions by first using Muller's thoughts, and then responding with my own reflections on the question.

Who Am I?

"Know thyself!" There are not a few people on this earth that are painfully and totally oblivious to the way they affect people and situations and who continue to barge through life leaving their wreckage and shrapnel every where in the form of hurt feelings, broken promises, and worse, broken lives. And there are probably just as many who light up a room by just walking through the door, whose very presence is a healing comfort and a joy. None of us want to be the former, and we all would like to think that we are in the latter category. The truth is we are most on a moving sidewalk between the two....with some days better than others.

True, many of us know about our talents and/or abilities. We are good or not good at math, sports, art, music, getting along with people, driving, carpentry, gardening, listening, skateboarding ......you get the picture. Most of us have a number of abilities which range to marginal to professional. What we love has a lot to do how well we nurture and

develop those abilities...but I'll save that for the next section.

Many of us have sought out astrologers, studied the Enneagram, taken the Myer's Briggs personality inventory or consulted a graphologist ...or "Other" in an attempt to understand ourselves more fully. And what happens after the consultation and you get the results....you say...(maybe not out loud) "I didn't learn anything new"...or I knew that already"...or ..."I was afraid you'd say that.!" The reality is that most of us KNOW what

we really are and what we really are like....but perhaps not enough of us know how to make the most of what we are....play the hand we were dealt in the most positive way, or have the courage to make life or career choices that might not be the most "glamorous or lucrative"...but might be personally far more rewarding and enriching. Spending some of your wild and precious life getting back to knowing who you really are is not a self indulgent exercise in conceit! Knowing yourself is the most vital step in making a real life for yourself.

We can not be in real and healthy relationship with another individual or in community if we are always behind a mask. And if we are wearing a mask, and we dare to take it off and take a sneak peek at ourselves without it...and we DON"T like what we find...we are one step closer to knowing how to find something we do like. For example: I finally took off one of my masks and I finally admitted to myself that my asthma and/or the humidity and/or the cold was not what is keeping me from daily walking exercise...the truth is I bloody hate exercise....I always have, the only good jogging suit is a dead jogging suit...and I wouldn't walk to my car if I could install a moving sidewalk! OK...There's the reality. I'm 61 years old, and I hate exercise...and I'm over weight...and I love cooking and eating FOOD!

When I finally faced up to the fact that I had a real choice...eat a lot less...or walk more....walk at all.........I walked! The miracle is, I have learned to not only grimace and bear it... I actually like it and am restive if I haven't been out for a while...and since I've been walking regularly, my asthma has disappeared, my already low blood pressure is even lower, and I'm no longer avoiding situations where I have to be in motion. My own...locomotion!

The first step was in knowing and admitting to my non-ambulatory predilections, and then, literally "weighing" my options...and choosing to do something I didn't used to like, so I could indulge in something I really like! Know myself...It wasn't as bad as I thought! Knowing who we are is the most vital first step for all of us in making meaning of our lives.

The second great question is..."What do I love".

One of my clergy buddies here on the island once said, "show me your check book and your date book and I'll tell you what you love. In one respect, he's not too far off. We make time for and spend money on the things that we value the most. Here I am not saying WHY we value them....or why we should or should not value those things, I'm just pointing out that it is a good indication of what we value.

But I would ask that we review them from time to time. My fabric expenditures would be considered a "tad" excessive by someone who is not a fabric artist. I have a friend who tries to keep his monthly liquor bill somewhat in line with his wife's monthly hairdressers bill. He loves his evening drinks....she loves having her hair colored and styled. These

and world travel are major time and budget commitments for this couple. It is not my place to question their choices. They know what they like, and they have made room for it in their lives. I might add they have a wonderful marriage, great kids and now grandkids, and rich full lives.

What do I find in my date book and my check record....don't ask! Actually, a good percentage of where and how I spend my time and money is directly or indirectly related to my ministry....which a absolutely LOVE. Muller suggests that we plant what we love in our garden of life...and then attend it and nurture it. I suggest that we make room in our lives for the things that really matter, and that of course is dependent on answering the first question....who am I?

Knowing yourself is the first step to healthy honest loving of another....whether it is a partner or spouse, a child, a brother or a sister...even our pets...for whom some of our lives would not be complete. We all know there are many kinds and levels of love. But if we are to live lives of worth and meaning, if we are to have a garden of life that is bountiful and well nurtured, we need to know for ourselves what we really love, and Be present to it...not by appointment, but in our very inhaling and exhaling of every day.

So..."How shall I live, knowing that I will die". I first asked this question of myself when I was in the 6th or 7th grade. My first thoughts were, this is ridiculous....we go through all of this just to end up in a box underground! But 50 years later, I'm still asking the question...and I ask it every day...just to keep myself honest...and delighted with this

wondrous gift of life. Muller suggests that every so often, we say to ourselves "I may die today"....and then stop and think about how you would spend your last day...what you value, what you would miss...or be glad to be rid of...and then with the giddy gratitude that you most likely won't...savor each moment, remembering to attend those things you love...and that love you.

We all know someone whose life has been unexpectedly cut short. We say things like...he/she had so much promise....they will miss out on this or that or some other life ritual or event...or too bad he/she never fulfilled that dream of.........

I don't want anyone to say that of me....First of all, I'm already too old, to be cut off before my prime...I'm in it....but Somewhere along the line I got in touch with those things that matter to me...and I have put them in my garden. To be sure, my garden gets clogged with weeds, and occasionally suffers from lack of water....but I have growing in my garden

just what I want there...with enough room for little surprises to spring up and delight me when I least expect it....like the 2 sunflowers that grew out of my geraniums...or the white violets from Mary Miller that I had forgotten I had planted.

Knowing that we will die...and we do and we will, we can choose to brood on that and be angry, or we can live intentionally, celebrating the joys and owning the sadness' when they come...as they must, knowing that each day can have meaning if we so desire.

And finally, the last question... What is my gift to the family of the Earth? And the adjunct to that question...How do we find our true gift...and the confidence to offer that gift freely and happily?"

Some of us have obvious great and sometimes multiple gifts. Einstein, Bach, Mozart, Tiger woods, Julia Child, Michael Servetus, Albert Schweitzer and Mother Theresa to name a few. The larger majority of us, we "regular " folk...have just as many gifts...believe me, ...they are just a little less public and publicized. Call to mind the popular Christmas Carol, the "Little drummer boy", or the Biblical story of the "widow's mite". The gift of a hug, a friendly ear or a pot of chicken soup can be the greatest gift on earth to the person who needs it.

Knowing yourself...ultimately involves...knowing ...honestly what your gifts are and are NOT...And then just as honestly, finding a way to use them for your own pleasure and enrichment and for the good of those around you...and those that will follow you. If you are lucky enough to combine a gift with a career....you are surely blessed. But if you didn't get quite THAT lucky...then at least find a way to develop and do that which gives your

life richness and texture and meaning. You may have noticed that I have come back to my starting point...! Knowing that we all have a limited time to live the life we have been given...how can we find AND MAKE meaning of our lives.

Muller suggests that we do something that at first sounds pretty morbid. He suggests that once a day we say to ourselves..."I may die today"! and in truth, any of us might! The reality is, we will most likely return to our homes, read the paper, have naps, go for walks, play with the dog or the cat or see the kids and or the grand kids or otherwise spend a beautiful first day of fall in an often overwhelmingly beautiful place.

Think about it. Any of us might die today, or have our lives irreparably changed in a single moment...like Christopher Reeve. And if we thought we might...wouldn't every single minute we were given until then be more precious than diamonds? ...and then, if we get off the treadmill for a moment, we can realize, that we don't have to be threatened by death to learn to use and to treasure and to LIVE every minute we are given.

Learn who you are, Learn what you love, Discover and share your gifts and you will indeed find meaning in your one wild and wonderful and precious life....and be joyful.

Amen.